What does friendship mean to you?

Friendship to me is something I am always trying to attain. I am trying to find people on my wavelength. I feel I am drifting out to sea, and I can see people bobbing around me, but most of them just float on by. Friends are people who know me well, who are there whatever, whenever. I have friends who I only see once or twice a year, but they mean a lot to me. I don't want friendship if the other person is not going to invest the same amount of time, dedication, emotion as me. I can be a terrible friend. I am flaky, I can be late, I can not speak for a while. I feel sad sometimes when I think I dont have many friends, but I'd rather have these people, than a room full of other who can't even be bothered to remember my name. Friendship to me means love, emotion, connection, laughter - yes, lots of laughter. If you don't make me laugh then we probably aren't friends. I wish I had more close friendships, especially closer to me. I would love someone to confide in. I sometimes feel I am on the other side of the glass, looking in on others who have something I want to attain. I don't know how you get to that point. Now I am a Mum, I am supposed to make 'Mum Friends'. I find it harder than ever now. I talk to people, I go to groups and people say hi, but thats where it ends. I am not sure how you take it further. Friendship to me, is heartache, pain and envy. Friendship is something I hold dearly, as the few friends I have, I cherish.